1st Time For Everything - 10K and a "Naked" 4 miler

Today, on the 12th anniversary of being brain tumor free,  I ran the Amery Fall Fest 10K with my mom. It was her first 10K and I was SO honored to be running it by her side on my anniversary. I'm not sure who was more nervous, her or me? She had a goal in mind and I was going to do everything I could to help her reach it. I knew the course was challenging with lots of hills and only 1 water stop, but I wasn't going to let her know that. I told her it was "no big deal" - just a few small hills. I didn't see any need to freak her out - we were going to run the route no matter what, either way the hills would still be there. As we started, I kept pace with her. I told her we would speed up if she felt she needed to, but if she kept the pace she was at, she would get the time she wanted. For me, I had been struggling with running since The Women Rock 1/2 Marathon. My pace felt slow, the runs felt really hard and I had "Negative Nancy" chirping in my ear every time I laced up my shoes. I was worried that the same thing would happen during this 10K and I might have a hard time being a good running buddy for my mom. To my surprise, the slower pace she was keeping felt great. My feet didn't hurt, my legs felt light and "Nancy" was gone. We chugged up the hills, chatted when we were on the flats and her energy and excitement was keeping us both going. Around mile 5 I could tell she was struggling a bit, so Trainer Tera kicked it into high gear. Just because she was my mom, I wasn't going to go easy on her. We took a short walk break for her to catch her breath and I told her my little secret I say to myself during every race. "This may be hard NOW, but it WILL be over soon. You only have one chance at THIS race, so don't do anything that you will regret when it's over". That must have lit a fire under her buns, because she ran the rest of the way. And at 1:03:05 we crossed the finish line. She did it and she had NO REGRETS. And when she got 1st place in her age group, I couldn't have been more proud!!!
After the race I decided to take a run by myself. Amery has a beautiful running trail that only the 5K'ers get to experience, so I had to check it out myself.  I left my watch and ipod behind and ran "naked". I can't remember the last time I had done that. I would rather hear the beat of the music than the pounding of my feet and, like many runners,  I NEED TO KNOW how fast I just ran that last mile. But I wanted to make this a run where I shut everything out. This was a run just for me and God. I had a lot to be thankful for - I was celebrating my 12 year anniversary doing something that I love with the people I love. And only by the Grace of God was I able to do that. I ran, I prayed, I thanked and I took in EVERYTHING around me. For four miles I reflected on the person I was BBT (before brain tumor), the person I have become since and the blessing the past 12 years have been. If things had went differently 12 years ago, well I really don't want to think about that. They went the way they went because God has a plan for me. He has given me the opportunity to be a wife, a runner, have the career of my dreams, be a better friend/sister/daughter than I was and appreciate the small things in life. I would never want to ever experience having a brain tumor ever again, but it was an experience I was meant to have. The blessing he gave me 12 years ago wasn't wrapped up in a pretty box and tied with a bow, but it was a gift. A gift that made me a happier person with a stronger faith and desire to make a difference.
Life doesn't always go the way WE planned. We may be throw for a loop by something that wasn't penciled into our Google Calendar or on or list of "to-do's", but if we stop for a second, step outside of ourselves, strip away all of the unnecessary "noise" and see the positive in the negative, we will experience the life that He has planned for us. And surprisingly, it may be better than what you had planned for yourself.

9/11 Tribute Patriot Relay

This past weekend I was honored to be a part of the 9/11 Tribute Patriot Relay in Hammond, WI. The 9/11 Tribute Patriot Relay Run was organized to raise funds for Patriot Runner, Jean Bringgold and Team Hope For The Warriors®. On November 4th, Jean will be joining Team Hope For the Warriors and carrying the American Flag through the streets of New York City as she runs the ING NYC Marathon. The mission of Hope For The Warriors® is to enhance the quality of life for post-9/11 service members, their families, and families of the fallen who have sustained physical and psychological wounds in the line of duty. Hope For The Warriors® is dedicated to restoring a sense of self, restoring the family unit, and restoring hope for service members and military families.

When you hear Jean talk about being a Patriot Runner, you can understand why she carries the flag. She has an amazing love for her country, pride in the men and women who fight for your freedom and is truly honored to waive the red, white and blue while doing something she loves. 

Jean Bringgold

During the relay, runners could walk or run 1/4 mile laps while carrying the flag that Jean will be carrying in the NYC marathon. When you look at the 3' x 5' flag, you'd think that running and carrying a flag wouldn't be that difficult. Well - after one lap around the track you'd be sadly mistaken. I chose to run 1 mile (4 laps around the track) with the flag and after the first lap I really felt the weight of the flag. But the weight I felt wasn't just in the aluminum post or the drag of the stars and stripes in the wind. It was the weight of what the flag meant. There I was, a woman, wearing a tank top and yoga pants, with the sun beaming on my exposed face, running for fun in a land where I can speak my mind, hold a job I love and have the life I chose to live all without the fear of being persecuted for it. I was carrying a flag that countless men and women had fought to protect, died to honor and lived to serve. It is a symbol of our freedom, a representation of the USA and a figure of what brought us together as a united country after 9/11. It stands for all the things that make America great - liberty, pride and honor. It is to be respected, held high and lit up so all can see it's beauty. At that moment I was carrying THE symbol of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and  honored every second I was able to hold her high. 

So, on the eve of the 11th anniversary of 9/11 (Patriot's Day), please take a moment to reflect on what the flag means to you. Also, remember that patriotism that you felt on 9/11/2001? This year don't just celebrate it on 9/11. Feel it, live it and honor it all year long. After all, the soldiers, police officers and firemen that keep this country and you safe don't just do their job one day a year - they serve us 24/7, 365 days a year. 

Women Rock Half Marathon

Half naked firemen, a jeweled finishers pendant, champagne finish, men in tuxedos ushering us to the start line - how could this race NOT BE THE BEST RACE EVER, right???!!! Well, despite all of the glitter, frills and pink champagne, this all women's race was less than stellar or fun for me. However, like all of my races this year, I learned a lot more about myself as a runner and was once again flicked on the forehead by God.
As we walked to the shuttles to take us to the start line, a woman asked me about the names on my legs. I explained to her what I was doing with BTS and she told me that her son, Ryan, beat a cancerous brain tumor. Ryan, who is also a runner, is involved in the fight against brain tumors through an organization called Humor To Fight The Tumor. "Humor" has a gala every October in the Twin Cities that features a silent and live auction, live comedy, a dinner and inspiring stories from brain tumor survivors. The goal of "Humor" is to move people through the power of hope and laughter to contribute to the important work of the American Brain Tumor Association. Hearing that her son was doing so well and also fighting the fight against brain tumors - I had a little extra pep in my step. This was going to be a great race.
As the race got underway, everything was feeling great. Mile 1 - fast. Mile 2- a breeze. Mile 3 - Are we really at mile 3 already? Mile 3.5 - Getting tired. Maybe I should take my gel. Mile 4 - Who put cement in my shoes? Mile 4.25 - Come on gel, kick in any time. Mile 4.5 -  Hello??? Gel???? Are you there? Mile 4.75 - Alright, who put bricks in my thighs? Mile 5 - I AM DONE! After mile 5, my race took a nose dive and I was struggling. I'm not sure if it was the course, something I did or just a bad day, but I was having my first ever (kinda surprising this had never happened before) meeting with the WALL. For those of you who don't know, "hitting the wall" is a term that runners use to describe a point in a race where you seriously think you can't go on. Your energy is gone, you are mentally and physically tired and moving your legs feels impossible. And at this race I hit it hard. I have ran races before where I got tired and the run didn't feel the best, but this was different. If I didn't want that damn champagne glass and finishers pendant SO BADLY (and the fact that I didn't want a DNF on my "record"), I would have quit. But, I shuffled on. I focused on my "reasons", asked them for strength and pushed through. The finish wasn't pretty and I think by mile 12 a 90 year old man in a walker could have passed me, but I did it.
The last 3 miles I had to keep telling myself "This too shall pass" and it did. I had a tough race, I crossed the finish line, drank my champagne and went on about my day. But for some of those who I asked for their strength during the hard parts of my race, it didn't pass. Sometimes I think we take for granted that there will always be the point where the hard parts will get easier and we can go on with our lives. And unfortunately that isn't always the case. But by running for brain tumor awareness I hope that one day everyone who battles brain tumors can say "This too shall pass".

Ragnar Relay

This past weekend I had the honor of finally running the Great River Ragnar Relay. What is the Ragnar Relay? The Ragnar is an overnight running relay race from Winona to Minneapolis. Teams are made up of 6-12 people; each individual runs 3 legs. The legs of the race vary in difficulty and distance, from 3-9 miles, allowing elite and novice runners to run together. Over 2 days and 1 night, teams run across 200 miles of the country's most scenic terrain. Pair that with crazy costumes, inside jokes, a great finish line party and unforgettable stories. Some call it a slumber party without sleep, pillows or deodorant.

 

The Fluorescent Butterflies

Van 1 - Me, Loretta, Chris, Troy, Heather and Stephen

When I signed up to be a part of The Fluorescent Butterflies, I had NO idea what I was in for. I just thought it would be "another run" but with butterfly wings and bright clothes. I was so wrong. Being in a small van with 5 other people for over 24 hours on little sleep and running in the middle of the night, alone, with only a small light to guide me was, well......AWESOME!!!!!!!! I loved every minute of it. The Ragnar pushed me way out of my comfort zone on SO many levels. I have never ran in the dark, in the middle of the night or on 2 hours of sleep let alone been in extremely close quarters with some people that I didn't know. The Ragnar taught me that I LOVE running in the dark, I don't always have to be competitive when I run (it CAN be all about having fun) and that I am a stronger runner that I thought I was. The Ragnar wasn't "just another race" is now a part of who I am. My team and I created so many great memories that I will cherish forever. All of the encouragement, laughing and fun we had will be with me always (maybe even the smell will be too - did I mention we didn't get to shower?).  If you ever get a change to experience The Ragnar, don't pass it up. I am still incredibly tired and sore, but I can't wait for 2013 to do it again!

The Official Unofficial 10 Miler

On Saturday my friend Heather and I officially ran the Unofficial Stillwater Log Run 10 Miler in Stillwater, MN. I say unofficial because after some pretty scary lightning, torrential downpours and 30 minutes of delays, the race was cancelled. This was a first for me - I had never suited up for a race before and was unable to run. We had been shuttled out to the start line, so we could take the bus back to our car and run at home on the treadmill where we would be comfy and dry. BUT....We were already wet from waiting in the rain during the delays and we did need to get a run in that day, so my friend and I (along with almost every runner who showed up that day) decided to run the race route anyways. 

I am usually a lone runner. Keeping my own pace, in my own space, with a few yard between me and the other runners. Headphones on, music pumping, thoughts gone - just me, my feet and the road. Since this wasn't an official race, I decided to do a "fun run" with Heather. We stayed together, chatted, kept each other going and busted out the occasional song. **Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle - yeah** Knowing that the timer wasn't running (yes - we are both number freaks and we had to check our watches at every mile) the pressure was off and we just ran to run. 

As we ran, my head went from "It's just a little rain" to "I am wet...my feet hurt...my new shoes are muddy...am I really chaffing there...I am miserable...I wanna quit". Half way through the run, I couldn't find my pace and I couldn't get the negative talk out of my head. I needed to quiet that voice between my ears. I took a deep breath and the saying "You have to withstand the storm in order to see the rainbow" popped into my head. Wow, God really has a way of opening your eyes sometimes. Just like 12 years ago, I was riding out (or should I say - running through) the storm to get to the rainbow (the finish line). Sometimes when runners are racing, we forget about EVERYTHING but ourselves. We are obsessing about our time, our form, the aches and pains, me, me, me. But in that moment, God reminded me that my race wasn't all about me. My shirt said "I am running for those who can't" and I needed to make the run about them. They were/are in the eye of the storm, just waiting to see their rainbow. No matter what my head threw at me to knock me down, I decided to finish the race strong for them. And I did. 

I am a huge fan of the Wizard of Oz and I think this post wouldn't be complete without a few lyrics from the greatest song on earth. 

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Are You There Tera? It's Me God...

 The purpose of me starting this blog was to tell my experience while running for those who can't. Well, I have been overwhelmed with this experience and I am still having anxiety about what this whole journey means. I knew when I came up with the idea that it was something pretty special and I hoped to make a dent in brain tumor awareness and show my respect for others who had been down the same road that I had and honor those who lost the battle. When I decided to run every race of the 2012 season (that has now changed...I will do this until my legs can no longer carry me) wearing a shirt that said "Brain Tumors Suck - I'm Running For Those Who Can't", I contacted a local (and extremely talented) artist to ask her to design the shirts. I sent an email to her explaining my idea, I wasn't expecting what would happen next. She told me that she recently had lost her mother to a brain tumor. (Whisper: Tera? Are you there? It's me, God) At that point I knew I was doing something that I was meant to do.

My first race of the 2012 season was the Eau Claire Half Marathon on May 6th. By race day I had covered my legs with over 20 names and I proudly wore the artists mom's name, Patty, on the top of my thigh. As I ran the race on a soggy May morning I wasn't sure if I was making an impact. Was the writing on the shirts too small? Should I have chose a brighter colored shirt? Did I blend in with the crowd too much? At mile 11 these doubts were weighing on me, so I looked down at my names and put my hand over Patty's name. When I lifted my head to continue along the course, a woman along the path patted her chest and gave me the thumbs up sign. (Ummm...Hello Tera? It's God again. Can you hear me?) Those last few miles were a blur of tears, smiles and praise to the people who were not only on my legs, but were carrying me to the finish line.

On June 16th I ran the "dream race" - Grandma's Half Marathon in Duluth, MN. I had tried to get into that race for over 5 years and was finally picked in the lottery. It was now my turn to run the 13.1 beautiful miles along Lake Superior. I woke up the morning of the race at 3:30 am (yes - that's right, I had to catch a bus to the start line at 4:30) with butterflies in my belly and a husband that would not wake up. Since he was the one who was supposed to write the names on my legs, I decided that I would let him sleep and I would ask someone at the start to write the names instead. When I got off of the bus I headed over to the cliff overlooking the lake. I took a moment to take in the blessing of the beautiful view, the perfect morning for a run and the opportunity to finally run Grandma's. I walked through the crowd and found a group of 3 women chatting. I asked one of the women if she would mind writing the names on my legs. (It was still chilly, so I was wearing a jacket over my shirt) She agreed and asked why I was writing all of these names on my body. When I told her my story, she looked up at me and told me that she had lost her mother to a brain tumor. A chill ran through my whole body as she stood up and hugged me. (Hey Tera....God here. Are you even paying attention to me?) As she finished writing the names, she asked me if she could add her mom's name, Shari, to the list along with a few others she knew who passed on from brain tumors. Shari was on the top of my left leg that day as I crossed the finish line in canal park.

Up next was the Warrior Dash on July 30th. It was SO hot and steamy that day and I wasn't sure about writing the names on my legs because I thought either a) I would sweat them off before the race even began or b) they would be covered in mud. But I took my marker and list just in case. When I got to the registration tent I decided to try to find someone to help me out with the names. I walked through the crowd until I found someone who wasn't covered in mud or heading to the start line. I found a group of people and asked one of the women of she could help me out. Again, she asked why I was writing names on my legs. I told her how I was a 12 year brain tumor survivor and that I was running for those who had either won or lost the battle against brain tumors. Another girl in the group walked up to me and explained that she had a friend who worked for Mayo and had co-founded Brains Together For A Cure, a foundation that raises awareness and funds for brain tumor research. (Hello God. It's Tera - I hear you loud and clear!).

I'm not sure where this journey will lead me, but I know that God is keeping me on the right track. I'm running for those who can't until I can't.

The Little Shirt That Could

These are the shirts that started it all. One Idea...One Runner...One Designer...A million stories to share. This is my blog about the summer I finally stepped out of my shadow of fear and embraced what a tiny spot on an MRI has made me. A runner who, by the grace of God, was given a second chance to make a difference. And in this 12th year of being tumor free, I want to thank God for my blessing of health and the ability to run by running for those who can't. Whether you or someone you know has lost, won, or is currently battling the fight against brain tumors, I am running for you/them.