The Official Unofficial 10 Miler

On Saturday my friend Heather and I officially ran the Unofficial Stillwater Log Run 10 Miler in Stillwater, MN. I say unofficial because after some pretty scary lightning, torrential downpours and 30 minutes of delays, the race was cancelled. This was a first for me - I had never suited up for a race before and was unable to run. We had been shuttled out to the start line, so we could take the bus back to our car and run at home on the treadmill where we would be comfy and dry. BUT....We were already wet from waiting in the rain during the delays and we did need to get a run in that day, so my friend and I (along with almost every runner who showed up that day) decided to run the race route anyways. 

I am usually a lone runner. Keeping my own pace, in my own space, with a few yard between me and the other runners. Headphones on, music pumping, thoughts gone - just me, my feet and the road. Since this wasn't an official race, I decided to do a "fun run" with Heather. We stayed together, chatted, kept each other going and busted out the occasional song. **Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle - yeah** Knowing that the timer wasn't running (yes - we are both number freaks and we had to check our watches at every mile) the pressure was off and we just ran to run. 

As we ran, my head went from "It's just a little rain" to "I am wet...my feet hurt...my new shoes are muddy...am I really chaffing there...I am miserable...I wanna quit". Half way through the run, I couldn't find my pace and I couldn't get the negative talk out of my head. I needed to quiet that voice between my ears. I took a deep breath and the saying "You have to withstand the storm in order to see the rainbow" popped into my head. Wow, God really has a way of opening your eyes sometimes. Just like 12 years ago, I was riding out (or should I say - running through) the storm to get to the rainbow (the finish line). Sometimes when runners are racing, we forget about EVERYTHING but ourselves. We are obsessing about our time, our form, the aches and pains, me, me, me. But in that moment, God reminded me that my race wasn't all about me. My shirt said "I am running for those who can't" and I needed to make the run about them. They were/are in the eye of the storm, just waiting to see their rainbow. No matter what my head threw at me to knock me down, I decided to finish the race strong for them. And I did. 

I am a huge fan of the Wizard of Oz and I think this post wouldn't be complete without a few lyrics from the greatest song on earth. 

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Are You There Tera? It's Me God...

 The purpose of me starting this blog was to tell my experience while running for those who can't. Well, I have been overwhelmed with this experience and I am still having anxiety about what this whole journey means. I knew when I came up with the idea that it was something pretty special and I hoped to make a dent in brain tumor awareness and show my respect for others who had been down the same road that I had and honor those who lost the battle. When I decided to run every race of the 2012 season (that has now changed...I will do this until my legs can no longer carry me) wearing a shirt that said "Brain Tumors Suck - I'm Running For Those Who Can't", I contacted a local (and extremely talented) artist to ask her to design the shirts. I sent an email to her explaining my idea, I wasn't expecting what would happen next. She told me that she recently had lost her mother to a brain tumor. (Whisper: Tera? Are you there? It's me, God) At that point I knew I was doing something that I was meant to do.

My first race of the 2012 season was the Eau Claire Half Marathon on May 6th. By race day I had covered my legs with over 20 names and I proudly wore the artists mom's name, Patty, on the top of my thigh. As I ran the race on a soggy May morning I wasn't sure if I was making an impact. Was the writing on the shirts too small? Should I have chose a brighter colored shirt? Did I blend in with the crowd too much? At mile 11 these doubts were weighing on me, so I looked down at my names and put my hand over Patty's name. When I lifted my head to continue along the course, a woman along the path patted her chest and gave me the thumbs up sign. (Ummm...Hello Tera? It's God again. Can you hear me?) Those last few miles were a blur of tears, smiles and praise to the people who were not only on my legs, but were carrying me to the finish line.

On June 16th I ran the "dream race" - Grandma's Half Marathon in Duluth, MN. I had tried to get into that race for over 5 years and was finally picked in the lottery. It was now my turn to run the 13.1 beautiful miles along Lake Superior. I woke up the morning of the race at 3:30 am (yes - that's right, I had to catch a bus to the start line at 4:30) with butterflies in my belly and a husband that would not wake up. Since he was the one who was supposed to write the names on my legs, I decided that I would let him sleep and I would ask someone at the start to write the names instead. When I got off of the bus I headed over to the cliff overlooking the lake. I took a moment to take in the blessing of the beautiful view, the perfect morning for a run and the opportunity to finally run Grandma's. I walked through the crowd and found a group of 3 women chatting. I asked one of the women if she would mind writing the names on my legs. (It was still chilly, so I was wearing a jacket over my shirt) She agreed and asked why I was writing all of these names on my body. When I told her my story, she looked up at me and told me that she had lost her mother to a brain tumor. A chill ran through my whole body as she stood up and hugged me. (Hey Tera....God here. Are you even paying attention to me?) As she finished writing the names, she asked me if she could add her mom's name, Shari, to the list along with a few others she knew who passed on from brain tumors. Shari was on the top of my left leg that day as I crossed the finish line in canal park.

Up next was the Warrior Dash on July 30th. It was SO hot and steamy that day and I wasn't sure about writing the names on my legs because I thought either a) I would sweat them off before the race even began or b) they would be covered in mud. But I took my marker and list just in case. When I got to the registration tent I decided to try to find someone to help me out with the names. I walked through the crowd until I found someone who wasn't covered in mud or heading to the start line. I found a group of people and asked one of the women of she could help me out. Again, she asked why I was writing names on my legs. I told her how I was a 12 year brain tumor survivor and that I was running for those who had either won or lost the battle against brain tumors. Another girl in the group walked up to me and explained that she had a friend who worked for Mayo and had co-founded Brains Together For A Cure, a foundation that raises awareness and funds for brain tumor research. (Hello God. It's Tera - I hear you loud and clear!).

I'm not sure where this journey will lead me, but I know that God is keeping me on the right track. I'm running for those who can't until I can't.